Reasons You Hate Mulligan

I hate Mulligan because of his antinomian views.

Why do you hate Mulligan?

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269 Comments on “Reasons You Hate Mulligan”

  1. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he made me waste my first “I hate mulligan” idea already

  2. Joe says:

    I hate mulligan because he stuck a damn metal pole in my front lawn.

  3. I hate mulligan because he doesn’t get the joke.

  4. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he put smoke bombs into his friend’s homes

  5. I hate mulligan because one time he used a glory hole

  6. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he found a wrong way to eat a reese’s

  7. titocf says:

    I hate Mulligan because he killed the cat, and then blamed it on curiousity.

  8. I hate mulligan because he invented the traffic circle

  9. titocf says:

    I hate Mulligan because after he invented the traffic circle, he decided to call it a rotary in some places and a roundabout in other.

  10. I hate Mulligan because he can’t color within the lines

  11. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he’s unlikely to understand my reference to Yugoslavian communists

  12. I hate mulligan because he just really understood French fuedalism in its Norman context.

  13. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because the only thing he gave me from his trip to Thailand is smallpox

  14. I hate mulligan because he invented maniac mondays!

  15. samtaffy says:

    I hate mulligan because he would only rape a retard in a bowling alley with a plumber’s crank with me if he got to go first.

  16. I hate Mulligan because he claims ‘War & Peace’ is his favourite novel even though he’s never read it.

  17. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he believes in the essential goodness of mankind

  18. I hate mulligan because he always uses the Chewbecca Defense when confronted with his crimes.

  19. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because his top 5 comic writers list somehow includes whedon and bendis, but not ellis.

  20. I hate mulligan because he fucked up my computer and internet connection.

  21. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because, with modern technology, we really could remove those boils if he just asked

  22. I hate mulligan because he doesn’t know how to just say no.

  23. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he defines marriage as a union between a man and a flesh-light

  24. I hate mulligan because he voted to allow the county of Fairfax to contract a debt to build parks.

  25. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he apparently has something against the environment

  26. I hate mulligan because he loves the beach boys

  27. SamTaffy says:

    I hate mulligan because he deliberately pinches off his turds when they’re half way out of his ass, leaving the rest to fester in his bottom.

  28. I hate mulligan because he wrote an autobiographical novel about someelse

  29. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he eats fried orange rinds

  30. Rusty Shackleford says:

    I hate mulligan because he sniffs my white out.

  31. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he thinks Dragonforce is a legitimate musical group

  32. I hate mulligan because he thinks that Man O’ War is a legitimate musical group

  33. Rusty Shackleford says:

    I hate mulligan because he stomps on my petunias.

  34. Rusty Shackleford says:

    I hate mulligan because no one seems to want to spread the hate anymore.

  35. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he looks like the lead singer of the 70s dutch rock group Focus

  36. Rusty Shackleford says:

    I hate mulligan because he drinks lots of water to keep his urine colorless.

  37. I hate mulligan because one is the loneliest number

  38. titocf says:

    I hate mulligan because I was never taught to love.

  39. I hate mulligan because he plays virtual beer pong

  40. psycholarry says:

    I guess I only really hate mulligan because everyone else does

  41. I hate mulligan because he wants to buy a pack of world of warcraft cards

  42. Rusty Shackleford says:

    I hate mulligan because of peer pressure.

  43. I hate mulligan because of what he’s going to do in twenty minutes

  44. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because the laws of thermodynamics require it

  45. I hate mulligan because he refuses to accept the papal monarchy

  46. Rusty Shackleford says:

    I hate mulligan because he acutally believes communist China is reforming.

  47. I hate mulligan because he is an outliner in my sample.

  48. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he fails to understand that all men are responsible for their own actions and the resulting repercussions in a world where there is absolute freedom.

  49. I hate mulligan because, honestly, he should have called me back sooner

  50. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he puts off his Christmas shopping till easter

  51. I hate mulligan because there are 50 other reasons to hate him

  52. titocf says:

    I hate Mulligan because he keeps slipping out of character.

  53. I hate mulligan because he can never, ever leave well enough alone

  54. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he can’t be trusted even to win money.

  55. titocf says:

    I hate mulligan because he just can’t get over the fact that he witnessed his parents gunned down in a dark alley.

  56. I hate mulligan because he said that horrible thing about his mom

  57. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he made the sad clown laugh

  58. psycholarry says:

    he is part of the Islamic-modern liberalism tradition

  59. I hate mulligan because he never understood the meaning of sign on the cage that read “do not feed the animals” and feed the monkey a candy bar anyway

  60. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he suffered from identity theft in a way that wasn’t as funny as those commercials make it seem.

  61. I hate mulligan because he was highly unlikely to support a presidental candiate who liked ‘puppies’

  62. titocf says:

    I hate Mulligan because he didn’t let the Wookie win.

  63. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he probably missed the star wars reference on Lost last night

  64. I hate mulligan because he has no love for “lego star wars”

  65. titocf says:

    I hate Mulligan because he thinks his blood is enriched with midochlorians, but it’s actually HIV.

  66. I hate mulligan because he refuses to kneel before his betters

  67. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because it’s not his trick… It’s his illusion!

  68. I hate mulligan because he doesn’t understand the difference between vegetarian veggie burgers and vegan veggie burgers

  69. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he likes to go pew-pew-pew during sex

  70. titocf says:

    I hate Mulligan because he makes a “W” with his fingers to show that he’s from the West side of the Warsaw ghetto.

  71. I hate mulligan because he did not circle the right item on the inventory sheet

  72. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he puts a 2 into all of his Basic programs

  73. I hate mulligan because he refuses to shop at ‘dollar general’ despite the great deals. 1 dollar for a two litter coke!!!

  74. titocf says:

    I hate mulligan because he thinks a guitar pick-up is a method of singing your way into a girl’s pants.

  75. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he knows that it’s not easy being brown

  76. I hate mulligan because there are seventy-five other reasons to hate him

  77. titocf says:

    I hate Mulligan because he uses arbitrary math to find patterns of numbers in his life, and then thinks it means something.

  78. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he thinks Frank Miller is a good writer

  79. I hate mulligan because he bought a copy of captain america #25 for 100 dollars on e-bay

  80. titocf says:

    I hate Mulligan because his small group of warriors wouldn’t let me through that damn mountain pass.

  81. I hate mulligan because he refuses to buy the entire jabba the hutt throne room set; he’s just buying jabba, himself, and that annoying creature thing.

  82. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because there are only three people that seem to hate him

  83. I hate mulligan because it’s the cool thing to do

  84. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because people sometimes just explode

  85. I hate mulligan because he didn’t give me that cover blurb i wanted

  86. titocf says:

    I hate mulligan because he made so Apple Jacks don’t taste like apples.

  87. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he thinks keeping half his frets one turn out of tune is the cool thing to do

  88. titocf says:

    I hate Mulligan because I’m just in a hating mood at the moment.

  89. I hate mulligan because his head is egg-shaped

  90. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because of his natty threads

  91. I hate mulligan because he refuses to do my data entry for me

  92. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he thinks crossing the streams means using youtube and google video at the same time

  93. I hate mulligan because he thinks, first and foremost, that a candidate must look ‘presidential’ to be in the running

  94. titocf says:

    I hate Mulligan because he wants to double Guatanamo.

  95. I hate mulligan because he makes more money than me and all of my friends combined

  96. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he wears plaid shorts

  97. I hate mulligan because he grows facial hair faster than a chia-pet

  98. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he has the memory of a goldfish.

  99. I hate mulligan because he has ingrown nose hairs

  100. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he invented crawfish dipped in chocolate and called it Chocraw!

  101. I hate mulligan because there are 100 other reasons to hate mulligan.

  102. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he keeps digging up Milli Vanilli unreleased rare recordings and calling them underground.

  103. i hate mulligan because james patterson is his favorite author

  104. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he can’t see the forest for the trees.

  105. I hate mulligan because he knows fear!

  106. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he tried to eat fridge magnets

  107. I hate mulligan because he loves fried green tomatoes

  108. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he pirates the software that he writes himself.

  109. Capt Brown Helmut says:

    I hate mulligan because he is a turd poker

  110. The Kaiser says:

    I hate mulligan because he thinks he’s the God damn Batman!

  111. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he wears heated gloves so M&Ms melt in his hands

  112. I hate mulligan because *SPOILER WARNING* he’s likes his e’s before his i’s

  113. titocf says:

    I hate mulligan because he makes me watch the same crappy movies both ways on the plane.

  114. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he puts horrible pop-rap on the end of all his albums as secret tracts.

  115. I hate mulligan because his idea of “tough love” involves whips

  116. titocf says:

    I hate mulligan because he believes that the plane crashed because it was piloted by skeletons.

  117. i hate mulligan because he failed to keep aggro

  118. titocf says:

    I hate mulligan because a website keeps reminding me of the anniversary of the time he violently leapt out of his mother’s womb.

  119. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he eats oatmeal made out of senior citizens and prepared by a robot.

  120. The Kaiser says:

    I hate mulligan because he just admitted he knows what the “balls of a thousand horses” smells like.

  121. The Kaiser says:

    I hate mulligan because he once reached for an Altoid. And missed.

  122. i hate mulligan because clearly he doesn’t know how to keep a date

  123. The Kaiser says:

    I hate mulligan because he organizes the porn on his computer by race. I’m pretty sure I saw albino.

  124. titocf says:

    I hate mulligan because he cheated at golf to get the high score.

  125. i hate mulligan because there are 124 other reasons to hate him.

  126. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because every once in a while he proves just how much plaid one man can wear.

  127. I hate mulligan becasue I have written pages upon pages to rid him from my bones.

  128. Rusty Shackleford says:

    I hate mulligan because he kept me from voicing my hate all along

  129. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he douses his steak in ketchup

  130. i hate mulligan because he loves ea eating up bioware

  131. titocf says:

    I hate Mulligan because I just upgraded to Mulligan 4.7.2 a week ago and now he’s forcing me to upgrade to Mulligan 4.7.3

  132. i hate mulligan because he tricked me into painting the fence for him

  133. titocf says:

    I hate mulligan because he tried to steal a car but couldn’t drive stick.

  134. I hate mulligan because he repeats the same word, “indeed”, over and over again.

  135. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he collects possum skulls

  136. I hate mulligan because he doesn’t understand that they’re fictional characters

  137. titocf says:

    I hate mulligan because he told his fans that they could pick their price when they downloaded his album, but then used their credit card numbers to subscribe to porn pay sites.

  138. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he went with what was in the box

  139. I hate mulligan because he loves ganz products

  140. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he continues to use the phrase “fart-knocker”

  141. I hate mulligan because he didn’t have to go through what I went through

  142. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he keeps writing reviews about star wars novels

  143. I hate mulligan because he doesn’t like my reviews of star wars novels

  144. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because all work and no play makes jack a dull boy

  145. I hate mulligan because he always wants to “camp it up”

  146. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he wrote a Masters dissertation on Bruckheimerian explosives theory.

  147. I hate mulligan because he never buys me the right present, even though i “secretly” leave a list right on the damn kitchen table

  148. psycholarry says:

    I find mulligan most disagreeable as he refuses to abide by strict Duke of Queensburry rules.

  149. I hate mulligan because he touched my daemon

  150. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because I get to hate him for the 150th time.

  151. I hate Mulligan because there are 150 reasons to hate him!

  152. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because sex farm for sex hooker

  153. I hate mulligan because i’d hate to disagree

  154. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because I hate mulligan because I hate mulligan because I hate mulligan…

  155. I hate mulligan because he likes waiting in lines

  156. titotwo says:

    I hate mulligan because he didn’t major in math, he majored in MIRACLES.

  157. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because his 5 Alarm Chili included 3 alarms worth of Strychnine.

  158. I hate mulligan because he knows that we hate him and he’s done nothing about it.

  159. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because apparently Tito forgot the password to his original account

  160. I hate mulligan because clearly he doesn’t get the joke

  161. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because he greenlit a film version of “Bop It.”

  162. I hate mulligan because he loves bringing food and drink in the computer lab despie the fact that the say clearly says “no food or drink in the computer lab”

  163. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he made a salad bowl out of bacon

  164. I hate mulligan because he has an ass-backwards way of organizing books

  165. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he built a better mousetrap

  166. I hate mulligan because he’s new and i just don’t like new people

  167. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because God Damn It Texas and Ohio, what the fuck?

  168. I hate mulligan because my predictions were wrong

  169. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he subsists entirely on a diet of potatoes and fish oil tablets.

  170. I hate mulligan because he caused me to cut my finger

  171. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because after he gave me ten pages worth of corrections to a four page article.

  172. I hate mulligan because his goal is to make my last two weeks miserable.

  173. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he totally told Jess Darby that Ricky Swanson didn’t want to take her to the Sock Hop.

  174. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because it gives me something to do on Tuesday nights.

  175. I hate mulligan because there are 175 reasons to hate him

  176. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he frightened the semen out of my body.

  177. I hate mulligan because i just can’t get started on my research and it is all his fault

  178. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he thinks research means to look a second time.

  179. I hate mulligan because he made me play fire emblem all morning instead of working

  180. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he has a deep love for fishwives.

  181. Tito says:

    I mulligan because he california rolled through a school crosswalk… and over a crossing guard.

  182. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he screams “Siobhan!” and I don’t know what that means.

  183. I hate mulligan because he love america’s next top model so much

  184. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he pre-tapes a call in show.

  185. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because his measurements are 36-34-36.

  186. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because the above post would’ve worked better if I had typed in the right middle number.

  187. I hate mulligan because he clearly doesn’t know the difference between “the clique” and “gossip girls”

  188. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he though it was free

  189. I hate mulligan because freedom isn’t free

  190. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because he’s holding a thermal detonator.

  191. I hate mulligan because he answers the phone every time she calls him

  192. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because it takes a truck to take what he’s taken, and I gotta squint to see what he gave.

  193. I hate mulligan because jon stewart is a terrible interviewer

  194. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because it takes a shovel to hear what he’s talking.

  195. I hate mulligan because he’s a working class white male

  196. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because I have to squint to see what he gave

  197. I hate mulligan because it’s not my birthday

  198. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he sure burns good but he don’t mean a thing to me.

  199. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because video games made me do it.

  200. I hate mulligan because there are now 200 reasons to hate him

  201. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he wants more life fucker!

  202. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because it is a slow slow Friday. And somehow that’s his fault.

  203. I hate mulligan because this health work is some tedious fucking shit

  204. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because he can’t find his luck dragon.

  205. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he tried to cross the streams

  206. Finalcylon says:

    I hate mulligan because the cat’s drunk

  207. Finalcylon says:

    I hate mulligan because as soon as I started hating him, everyone else stopped.

  208. I hate mulligan because he likes karl rove’s belief in clinton’s chances…

  209. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because he prefers Jakob Dylan.

  210. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he bought the Beverley Hills 90210 DVD box set the day it came out

  211. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because he led a pack (swarm? herd? gaggle?) of monkeys swinging from vines into a moving jeep to fight communists.

  212. I hate mulligan because he escaped a nuke in a lead-lined fridge…

  213. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he ate all the crisco

  214. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because I never can hold Asia for a whole turn.

  215. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he stinks like a dead hog down wind from a paper mill during a heat wave

  216. I hate mulligan because i wonder if the above really is true

  217. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because he TiVo’s “Moment of Truth.”

  218. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he has a tattoo of Toni Morrison’s face on his lower back

  219. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because he’s managed to elude our hate for a solid month.

  220. I hate mulligan because he can’t fast-forward today into tonight.

  221. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he can fast-forward today into tonight, but chooses not to

  222. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because I’m the only one that really hates him

  223. I hate mulligan because in the end, it is the only thing that really matters

  224. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because all he puts on his Twitter is posts about cat poop

  225. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because it helps me to get to sleep at night.

  226. I hate mulligan because there are 225 other reasons to hate him.

  227. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he’s a member of the Sisterhood of Traveling Pantsuits, and thinks that the name is really clever

  228. Doctor Brown says:

    I hate Mulligan because he didn’t get it … from me.

  229. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he just looks like a kid out there

  230. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because he keeps referring to it as the “Large Hard-on Collider” and giggling incessantly.

  231. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he made the new site design way too cramped.

  232. I hate mulligan because it looks like I’m going to have to change the site design again.

  233. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he winks at old ladies

  234. I hate mulligan because he loves cat drool

  235. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he knows the world’s address

  236. I hate mulligan because he will leave his tracks untraceable.

  237. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he made fun of boat drinks

  238. I hate mulligan because he won’t acknowledge his Marxism.

  239. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he eats peanut butter and pistachio sandwiches

  240. i hate mulligan because he never does the things he says he will.

  241. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because he hangs out at the sperm bank offering a cheaper alternative.

  242. I hate mulligan because he just he tanks when he should be dpsing.

  243. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he thinks toasting his bread is too decadent

  244. I hate mulligan because he makes my cat smell worse

  245. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because Sex Farm for Sex Hooker still pulls in hits

  246. I hate mulligan because that’s just cold, dude

  247. psycholarry says:

    _ h_t_ m_ll_g_n b_c__s_ h_ st_l_ _ll my v_w_ls

  248. i hate mulligan because psycholarry is just too damn clever

  249. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he doesn’t understand game theory like I do

  250. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because he won’t stop violating directive 4.

  251. DoctorBrown says:

    I hate mulligan because he hasn’t spoken up about free speech or the dark knight yet.

  252. I hate mulligan because he never speaks up about anything.

  253. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he only knows things in the Biblical sense

  254. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because, even with a new president hopefully ushering in a new era, there are still so many reasons left to hate him.

  255. psycholarry says:

    I hate Mulligan because he fell asleep during the Super Bowl

  256. I hate mulligan because he forgot to watch BSG

  257. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he loves hirsute porn

  258. The Kaiser says:

    I hate mulligan because he has too many dicks.

  259. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because he always just builds up in Australia.

  260. I hate mulligan because what the fuck else is there to do?

  261. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he got grape juice stains all over my dog

  262. The Kaiser says:

    I hate mulligan because he yells ‘Yes We Can’ while on the toilet.

  263. Tito says:

    I hate mulligan because he only types with his thumbs.

  264. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he eats Iams healthy coat mix

  265. I hate mulligan because he fucked up my sleep schedule

  266. I hate mulligan because this feature has died.

  267. psycholarry says:

    I hate mulligan because he’s trying to slowly kill me by helping me develop drinking games

  268. Roy Rogers says:

    I hate mulligan because he just don’t know what’s wrong with peace, love and understanding

  269. Roy Rogers says:

    I hate mulligan because he killed this blog – singlehandedly


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