“I could kind of understand it if he was having sex with a woman—at least then I could ask him what it was that I wasn’t giving him and maybe try to work it out.”Posted: February 9, 2009
Lisa Best woke up one night to catch John, 34, with his online trousers round his ankles—having gay dungeon romps in the web world Second Life.
The van driver was sitting up beside her at 4am tapping away frenetically—living out his fantasy through his avatar, or online character, called Troy Hammerthall when Lisa opened an eye and caught sight of the screen.
“I saw John’s little person having it off with another man in a dungeon on the screen,” said horrified Lisa, 28.
“I just froze with my head on the pillow, silently watching what he was doing. I felt sick to my stomach.
“After a few minutes, I could bear it no longer and sat up in bed demanding to know what the hell he was doing. He quickly folded the damn machine shut.
“I went off the dial but John just brushed it away. He said it wasn’t real life so what was I doing my nut about?
“I couldn’t sleep a wink the rest of the night wondering whether this meant he was betraying me or not—that he’d rather have gay sex on Second Life than have sex with me.”
The next day distraught laundry worker Lisa logged on to John’s laptop after he’d gone to work. “To be honest, I wished I hadn’t,” she grimaced. He’d been taking picture postcards on Second Life of his avatar and sending them to his email address.
“There were shots of his character having gay sex and wandering round a nudist beach with a whip in his hand blindfolded.
“There was another of him on a sun lounger with a woman and a man.
“It was sick. He called himself Troy Hammerthall and hung around at a place called the Bondage Ranch.
“I can’t believe it. He’s not Troy Hammerthall—he’s John Best, from Derby.”
When John came home from work, shattered Lisa told him to pack his bags and leave. He moved in with a friend.
“What he was doing was perverted and total kick in the teeth for me,“ she said.
“As far as I am concerned, having virtual sex with a man is the same as having sex with him in real life.
“It may have just been online but I don’t know that for sure. If John has it in him to be gay on his computer, then how do I know what he does when he’s away working? I could kind of understand it if he was having sex with a woman—at least then I could ask him what it was that I wasn’t giving him and maybe try to work it out.
“But if it’s men he fancies, then our marriage is a complete sham and there is nothing I can do.”
Last night John denied being gay and said he was fighting to save his marriage.
“I was just messing about on there. I’m the world’s least gay man. There’s not a gay bone in my body,” he told us.
“I just found it funny. I only went on for a laugh. I can’t believe it’s ended up destroying my marriage.
“I’m in touch with Lisa and am desperate to be with her again. I’d never cheat on her in real life—with anyone.
“Second Life is just an escape and my avatar was just exploring things that I’d never sample—or want to sample—in real life.”
After four years of marriage she is divorcing him despite his pleadings that he was only “messing about”. “There were three in our marriage—myself, John and his laptop. He had it with him everywhere, even in bed,” said Lisa.
“And over the last few months he’d become really hooked on Second Life.”