Presidential Profile – GOB BluthPosted: October 21, 2008
Birth – Orange County, CA – 1965
Slogan – A Presidential candidate that won’t rape and kill you!
Party – Magician’s Alliance GOB Love America Party
Religion – Very interested in the Holy Trinity
Running Mate – Michael Bluth George Bluth Sr. – Decades of experience as a successful Real Estate CEO – Currently a fugitive for acts of light Treason
Major Policies – Foreign Affairs – As many as possible
The Economy – Will have total control of the Government checkbook. Will always ask other nations about their return policy.
Law Enforcement – A hot cop on every street corner, very lenient drug and petty theft enforcement
Illegal Immigrants – Simple: We don’t let the prudes in!
Abortion – No one can prove anything!
Defense – When you join Army without getting punched, you’ll have more fun
Taxes – Isn’t that what poor people are for?
-Little tricks are a big hit among very young voters and the elderly
-Didn’t completely run the Bluth Corporation into the ground as President, probably won’t run the country into the ground either!
–Campaign Manager Assistant Campaign Manager Michael Bluth: savy, has no problem with his brother running instead of him, dead wife sympathy story, single father
-Has no children that he knows of…probably
-Proved he’s an idea man with “Fuck Mountain”
-Segway shows the American people that he is fully in touch with the 21st century
-Has seen the Iraqi security force’s effectiveness first hand
-Campaign spokesman Franklin willing to say things that Whitey and African-Americany aren’t ready to hear
-Can really pull off a $5000 suit, and lets everyone know it
-Could charm the black off a telegram boy
-Still cannot remember his wife’s name, even after a long divorce hearing
-Consistently places Portugal as “down Ol’ South America way”.
-Appearances in the “Girls with Low Self-Esteem” video series are both politically and personally embarrasing
-Has a habit of stealing supporters watches, wallets, cars, and anything else that he can get his hands on
-Not afraid to make mistakes…a lot of mistakes
-Many see his candidacy as a ruse to get his father’s crimes pardoned, and they would probably be right
-Sleeps with every female reporter or intern he can get his hands on, and not in a charming JFK way
-His chicken dance enfuriates the crucial Hispanic demographic
-Fired his whole staff to teach them a lesson
-Heard the jury was still out on “Science”