Year: 1979
Bond Actor: Roger Moore (Age: 47)
Bond Country of Origin: England
Women Slept With: 2
Villain’s Evil Scheme: To kill JAMES BOND!!!! And some vauge plot to use a revolutionary solar power technology for laser evil
Continue reading ‘Bond, James Bond – The Man with the Golden Gun (and French Midget)’
Year: 1979
Bond Actor: Roger Moore (Age: 47)
Bond Country of Origin: England
Women Slept With: 3
Villain’s Evil Scheme: To dump 2 tons of free uncut heroin on the streets of America, bankrupting the competition and drastically increasing addiction rates, before drastically increasing prices
The Casino Royale you probably didn’t know existed!
Year: 1954
Bond Actor: Barry Nelson (Age: 37)
Bond Country of Origin: America
Women Slept With: Sort of 1 in a chaste 50’s kind of way
Villain’s Evil Scheme: To win back the Soviet money he lost gambling by gambling more! Continue reading ‘Bond, James Bond – The other other Casino Royale’
Year: 1971
Bond Actor: Sean Connery (Age: 41)
Bond Country of Origin: Scotland
Women Slept With: 1
Villain’s Evil Scheme: To use a laser made of diamonds to destroy nuclear arsenals and hold a global auction for nuclear supremacy.
Continue reading ‘Bond, James Bond – Diamonds are For Old Gay Hitmen’
Variety is reporting that Warner Bros. is in final talks to secure Martin Campbell to direct Green Lantern. Campbell served as director for Casino Royale and Goldeneye.
Also – Josh Brolin (W, Milk) is scheduled to begin shooting Jonah Hex this April
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Year: 1969
Bond Actor: George Lazenby (Age: 30)
Bond Country of Origin: Australia (!)
Women Slept With: (Probably) 3
Villain’s Evil Scheme: To use brainwashed young women to distribute a virus that would wipe out the world’s food supply
Continue reading ‘Bond, James Bond – On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’
Year: 1967
Bond Actor: Sean Connery (Age:37)
Women Slept With: 3
Villain’s Evil Scheme: To steal Soviet and American spaceships with their own spaceship that eats spaceships to incite nuclear war between the two super powers.
Continue reading ‘Bond, James Bond – You Only Live to be Racist Twice’
Year: 1965
Bond Actor: Sean Connery (Age:35)
Martini Count: 1? (I should probably start writing this down, I honestly don’t know)
Women Slept With: 3
Villain’s Evil Scheme: To ransom two stolen NATO nuclear bombs for 100 million (!) pounds sterling
It’s time to review Goldfinger! You know Goldfinger, it’s not possible you found this site and don’t know what Goldfinger is. He’s the man with the Midas Touch! According to this awesome poster I’m looking at, everything he touches turns to EXCITEMENT!
Year: 1964
Bond Actor: Sean Connery (Age:34)
Martini Count: 1
Women Slept With: 2
Villain’s Evil Scheme: To set off a Chinese dirty bomb in Fort Knox, destabilizing the World Economy and making the titular Goldfinger rich, Rich, RICH!
Film #2 follows almost directly after the end of Dr. No. From Russia with Love builds on the existence of SPECTRE and takes place in the heart of the Cold War.
Year: 1963
Bond Actor: Sean Connery (Age:33)
Martini Count: 1
Women Slept With: 4
Villain’s Evil Scheme: To pit the Soviets against the British in a ploy to kill Bond and gain a valuable Soviet encoding machine
Continue reading ‘Bond, James Bond – In Soviet Russia, Love is to be coming from you!’
